“Really?” I scoffed. “You really go hear her speak?”

“Yeah, she’s great. She speaks every Tuesday. You should come if you’re free,” he said in a tone that was neither defensive nor effusive.

It was the kind of take-it-or-leave-it statement that always piqued my interest. I wondered just who this Marianne Williamson was and how she’d managed to get the attention of Brad, someone I’d never known to be exceptionally new-agey or metaphysically feel-goodey.

Side note: Los Angeles is at its core a small town, so when one generates any amount of controversy, as Marianne had in the past, people hear about it. Before I really knew anything about her, I’d decided that she was the kind of self-help guru who sold a very commercial message of canned hope and faith to masses of desperate people, in the midst of mid-life crises, clamoring to find some kind of meaning in their lives. In other words, I had a little contempt prior to investigation.

But I digress.

Anyway, I met Brad at Marianne’s lecture the following week. The theater was packed. About 900 people quietly waited for Marianne to take the stage. When she ascended the stairs and stepped into the spotlight, she looked exactly how I thought she would. Very attractive, fit and camera-ready, with $700 hair, wearing what looked to be a $2500 suit, complete with Christian Louboutin heels. Okay, I admit the shoes surprised me. I suddenly thought she was fabulous. But again, I digress.

Once onstage, she sweetly asked if the lighting was OK and if she looked all right. The audience reassured her. She graciously blushed a little bit. “This woman is good!” I mused. Then, we prayed together. And then she started to speak.

Immediately, she caught me off guard. This was not a lecture for the faint of heart, nor was it a lecture for those who were waiting to be spoon fed something mindless and easy to digest. This was a call to action. This was a careful, oftentimes what I would call PhD level, analysis of metaphysics in everyday life, with occasional references to leitmotifs in fairytales so that her points could be more clearly understood. She even discussed Albert Einstein. I was totally blown away.

Then came the questions and answers. Some people asked about what she’d spoken about. Some people asked about very specific issues in their lives. She received each question with kindness and grace and provided a direct, clear and personalized answer, while at the same time relating the issue back to a larger theme. What struck me, though, was that she was not about to co-sign anyone’s BS. In fact, she actually said to one woman, “You are 33 years old. It’s time to stop behaving like a Ditzy Dora and start living as an adult.” Oh, yes she did.

At the heart of her lecture was a simple truth. We are currently living in fear. And fear cannot be wished away. The only way to get rid of fear is to replace it with love. Love for ourselves, love for others, and love for the world around us.

It was then that I remembered something my high school English teacher had said when asked about the rumors that a man named Shakespeare didn’t actually write all those plays. Were they written by a group of people? Was Shakespeare a pen name for a man called Francis Bacon?

My high school English teacher’s response was simply, “It doesn’t matter who wrote these plays. The fact is that they exist, that they are wonderful, and that their impact and influence continue to be felt centuries after they were first published. Whether or not a man named Shakespeare wrote them is immaterial… At least to me.”

And then I thought about Marianne. I related to her message. Thousands and thousands of people around the world related to her message every day.

So, at the end of the day, does it matter who Marianne the person truly is? I think what matters is that her message is clear, positive, full of hope, meaningful, impactful, and potentially life-changing for all those who care to listen.

Sometimes, when we get so busy scrutinizing the fallibility and very humanity of a specific messenger, we often miss the message.

I had to smile because, as you can see, much to my great amusement and delight, there is actually an entire website devoted solely to asshole parkers appropriately entitled, youparklikeanasshole.com.

In the past I have been known to entertain an impure thought or two about people who park like assholes here in Los Angeles, and I usually am as considerate as possible when parking my car. Today, however, I guess I got a little reckless, and that was my bad.

And though I wish I could claim all the credit for my admittedly asshole parking, in the interest of fairness, I should give credit where credit is due. When I pulled into the parking lot of Joey’s, the entire lot was pretty much full, and I was running a few minutes late to meet Joe. Luckily, there was a woman leaving, who was occupying a space that was in reality two spaces. You see, there was a large BMW parked over the line on the right side, and a Toyota Forerunner parked over the line on the left side. Joey’s lot is really only designed for smaller cars, so sometimes these things happen.

Anyway, I had a choice: I could park in the two-space space, or I could circle the block for street parking. I chose the former. I even had a pang of guilt about it, but I didn’t want to keep Joe waiting. Then, of course, I got busted by the asshole parking enforcement team of West Hollywood, but I guess that’s the risk you take when you live on the parking edge.

Thanks for keeping our parking spaces safe, guys!

Guy: You know, you’re really cute in an exotic sort of way.
Girl: Yeah, I’m a Persian girl from Newport Beach.
Guy: That’s cool! You could be on Jersey Shore!

And with that, my drinks arrived and I headed back over to my friends. I can only imagine where the evening took these two crazy young things…

But now, I feel compelled to point out some things I have noticed recently.

First, Rachel Maddow is amazing.   Hers is one of the only news broadcasts that actually disseminates real, legitimate news in a reasonable way.  No grandstanding, no screaming at the camera, no accusing the Obama administration, without factual basis, of being both Marxist and fascist at the same time.  Rachel still considers both sides of an issue and allows for intelligent discussion of that issue among intelligent, well-informed parties.

Second.  Tiger Woods.  Here’s a question.  Who cares!?  And if you care, why do you care?  Whatever is going on in his personal life is a private issue between him, his wife, and the long line of other women who see fit to confront him with lewd text messages they have saved for years. Tiger plays golf for a living.  His life and career, while nice and I am sure productive on some level, do not truly affect most of us at all.  Unless, of course, your last name is Woods.  Or Nike.  So why on earth are we still talking about this man’s personal life?  It’s the same story over and over again, different day.

Third.  Adam Lambert.  Let’s call a spade a spade.  The people who were and apparently still ARE upset by him and his American Music Awards performance need to a) realize that they are plain old homophobic, and then b) get a life.  This is another story that won’t die, and it makes no sense to me.  I personally don’t find him that spectacular or even that innovative.  He didn’t WIN American Idol.  And the sad truth is he has done nothing new.  Even this picture of him on the AMA’s grinding that male dancer’s face in his crotch is nothing new.

Madonna, Prince, hell even Michael Jackson and Paula Abdul were doing things that I found far more shocking and thought-provoking 20 years ago.  The difference was that their performances did not involve simulated sex between two men.   Two women are fine, though, I guess.

Look at this.  Below is an image of Madonna from 1990 with her dancer’s head up her dress.  Yes, folks. 1990.  And this performance was not only celebrated when it first aired, but it then went into heavy rotation on MTV … during the daytime.

And here are some images from Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted” music video from way back in 1989.  Yes, the same Paula Abdul who used to be a judge on American Idol.  Here she is with a male dancer lying between her legs.

Here’s a shot of two dancers from Paula’s video, which she choreographed, by the way…

And, just in in case you haven’t had a chance to see the video in its entirety, here is one more shot of Paula doing what appears to be cobra pose with a male dancer.  It’s actually a pretty great video.  But as usual, I digress.

Back in 1989, “Cold Hearted” was number 1 for WEEKS on MTV and was played in heavy rotation during the daytime.  I guess because it was an homage to Bob Fosse, it was considered more artistic and therefore OK for 12 year olds in 1989?  Not sure.

Fourth.  Sarah Palin?  Who is this woman, really?   And why do we keep sticking microphones in her face and letting her tell lies and half truths, frighten people, and generally damage our country with her ridiculous, self-serving, uninformed and polarizing opinions?  The reality is that she is simply not qualified to be discussing national health care, foreign policy, or the fiscal policies of the United States.  She resigned her post as governor of Alaska ostensibly to go on an extended book tour.  Really?  Aside from her complete lack of experience, do we really want to trust the opinions of a woman who would resign her post as governor to go on a book tour on a bus?  Check out this article from Depak Chopra. It is enlightening.

Look, the United States is fighting not one, but three wars now, simultaneously.  The young men and women of our armed forces continue to give their limbs and their lives for us everyday, with little or no fanfare.  Our system of health care is a mess.  Lobbyists are out of control.  The economy, while getting better, is still precarious.  Gay men and women are fighting for simple equal rights against ignorant, fearful people and the politicians who want to serve that ignorance.  These are the issues we should be working on.  Believe it or not, there are still serious people who can offer serious solutions.  Please, let’s we hear from them!  Enough of the grandstanding, enough of the smokescreens, enough of the religious zealotry that offers us nothing other than fear and heartache.

It is time to get real.

Wednesday afternoon, I called my Mom to lament the loss we all suffered in Maine on Proposition 1.

Side note: By “we all” I mean our entire nation.  You see, I believe that as Americans, one day we will look back on all the gay marriage propositions and referenda put on ballots in our states that essentially strip rights from people and be ashamed.  Ashamed of ourselves.  Ashamed for ourselves.  And then we will feel shame as our grandchildren look at us and ask, “Why?”

But I digress.  The irony and ridiculousness of the whole situation is laughable.  But there is no reasoning with people who live their lives in fear, anger, and envy.  They are like steamrollers in high gear without drivers.  No one is in control.

And so, while I was going through all of this with my Mom, her first response was, “But dear, you don’t spend any time in Maine.  The last time you were there was more than 20 years ago.  Don’t worry about them.  They will take care of themselves.  And you’ll see.  All this will get sorted out in due time.”

As an aside, my Mom lives in Connecticut, one of the five states where gay marriage is currently legal.  When Proposition 8 passed in California and I was so brought down, her response was simply, “Come home to get married.  So many of those people in that state where you live are just so provincial.  Anyone who would vote in favor of something as ludicrous as Proposition 8 is a provincial, small-minded person.  Get married here among intelligent people who love you.”

Back to the phone call…  I went onto explain that now I was afraid that President Obama and Congress would be unlikely to help us and stand up for our cause because of the response of the voters in Maine.  Again, her response was more big picture, “But that man was never going to stand up for you, no matter what happened in Maine.  Those people in Congress are fools, too.  Look at what is going on in this country.  They can’t even get health care right.”

She went on to encourage me to live my life by my own ideals.  To lead by example.  “The way to affect change,” she reminded me, “is to change yourself.”

I hung up with her and thought about where we were now versus where we were even just five years ago.  We have seen rapid change in a very short amount of time.  Things will continue to change, but we must look inward first.  We need to change ourselves, and that will ready us and steady us for the changes to come.

Senator Lieberman is betraying the wishes of the very Connecticut residents who elected him to his seat in the Senate.  He is a Democrat who says he will side with Republicans and filibuster should the Health Care Reform Bill with the Public Option come to the Senate floor.

Let us not forget that this is the man who has taken large sums of money from insurance companies for his Senate campaigns.  And back in 2005, Lieberman’s wife took a position at Hill & Knowlton working on behalf of GlaxoSmithKline, a pharmaceutical giant that benefited from legislation Lieberman introduced the month after his wife agreed to the position.  He is also the man who broke with his party to campaign against Obama and on behalf of John McCain.

Interestingly enough, it was not too long ago that Mr. Lieberman told reporters that he did not think Senators should engage in filibusters.

Why, Democrats, have you welcomed this man back into your caucus?  Why, President Obama, did you stand up on this man’s behalf?  Why is this man still allowed to retain his position as chair of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee?

Please – Democrats – distance yourselves from this charlatan.  It is time to move on.

Side Note: I have been told by relatively objective sources that my slightly flirtatious messages tend to have the subtlety of a steam roller.

But I digress. Back to 007’s email. The message and tone were both quite clear. “BACK THE &@#% OFF,” I believe it read, followed by the obligatory email smiley face. So I flew to my iChat to find out what was going on! As it turned out, 007 had had his eye on this certain someone for a few years, but this certain someone was in a very serious relationship. That is until facebook told us otherwise. Timing is everything in life, don’t you think?

Anyway, the whole situation got me to thinking, as one does. What has happened to our world? Has our instinctive mating dance been reduced to the way we choose to address our facebook relationship status? As we progress further and further into the information age, where everything is becoming faster and faster and more optimized, I have watched some of my friends’ sex lives dissolve into a brief series of email and IM encounters. Both parties answer a series of questions on a website and then agree to meet for a hookup. Hookup happens. Needs have been met. Life moves on until someone gets horny again. And then it’s back to the Question and Answer section of tonight’s program.

Now, with the advent of iPhone apps like Grindr and Loopt, we don’t even need to speak to people at bars, clubs, restaurants, libraries or produce departments, let alone bother with clunky websites. All we need is a GPS-enabled iPhone and we’ve got ourselves our own personal sexual homing device.

Come on people! Live a little! Get up from the computer. Put down the iPhone. Take a chance and meet someone in-person and for real. Introduce friends to each other. Set people up on dates. Get set up on dates! Go have a real conversation that doesn’t include abbreviations like LOL, QT, BTW, or ROTFL. Please.

OMG – look at the time. TTYL!